Naruto Character Care Manuals
by Pooh Bear Is My Hero
Summary: Congratulations! You are the proud owner of your very own Naruto Character! Now, you need to read the manual to learn how to take care of your new buddy! Chapter 7: Ino Yamanaka, now at a 15 percent discount!
1. Naruto Uzumaki

NEW STORY!! (Even though I have at least 5 other stories that need to be finished) I have no idea how I came up with the idea for this really...If this has been done already, then I am sorry, but I really have not seen this before...Anyway, I do not own Naruto or any of these characters...So, without further ado, lets begin!!

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**Naruto Uzumaki Care Manual**

Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of your very own NARUTO UZUMAKI!!

**What Have I Purchased?**

You have just purchased a Naruto Uzumaki!! Naruto Uzumaki is energetic, loud, and obnxious. Your Naruto comes with:

1 Orange Jumpsuit

1 Set of Pajamas (with sleeping cap)

1 Frog Wallet

10 Kunais

1 Blue Leaf Village Headband

10 Packs of Ramen

1 Naruto Uzumaki

**WARNING**

If your enjoy getting a good night's sleep on a daily basis, then Naruto Uzumaki is not for you, as his constant yelling will keep you up all night. Instead, we recommend a Shikamaru Nara.

Also, NEVER seriously bash Sasuke Uchiha in any way, shape, or form, or Naruto Uzumaki WILL hurt you (and we are not liable for any damage he may cause).

If you are broke, do not mention ramen, because Naruto will make you buy him some.

Do not make Naruto extremely angry, otherwise the nine-tailed demon fox within him will take over, and you WILL die.

**Assembly Instructions**

Open the box and let Naruto come out on his own. If he does not yell, threaten, and accuse you of putting him in there, then you have recieved a defect and should ship it back for a new Naruto immediately.

Once he is out, give him some ramen and he will be your best friend forever.

**Feeding Instructions**

Naruto prefers eating ramen all day, every day. However, we suggest giving him other foods as well, because too much ramen is unhealthy for growing Narutos. Naruto can eat just about anything (foodwise, that is...)

**Sleeping Habits**

If Naruto is fixated on something, then he will try to get it done no matter what before sleeping. However, when Naruto does fall asleep, nothing can wake him up.

**FAQs**

**Q:** My Naruto goes missing for several days at a time. Why is this?

**A:** Naruto is either on a mission or looking for a Lady Tsunade so he can recieve a mission. Don't worry, he'll always come back.

**Q:** I don't want my Naruto to go on missions. What if he dies?!

**A:** Don't worry. He won't die. He's the main character. Without him, there is no show, so he must live.

**Q:** Why does my Naruto never shut up when my friend brings her Lady Tsunade over?

**A:** Naruto is always yelling and screaming whenever he sees Lady Tsunade so that he can get a new mission. My advice is to keep him away from your friend's Lady Tsunade.

**Q:** HELP! My friend brought her Jiraiya over the other day to meet my Naruto and they just disappeared! Will they ever come back?

**A:** Don't worry. They'll be back in two years. Until then, perhaps you should get a Sakura Haruno to keep you company?

**Q:** Every so often my Naruto turns into a naked girl...

**A:** He's just practicing his sexy no jutsu. Don't worry, it's normal!

**Q:** My Naruto always tries to beat up my friend's Sasuke Uchiha. Why is this?

**A:** Naruto and Sasuke are rivals. Just keep an eye on them so they don't hurt each other TOO badly.

**Q:** Why does Naruto Uzumaki only come with a 2 hour warranty where as everyone else comes with a 2 year warranty?

**A: **The truth is, we here at 'Anime Characters R Us' don't want Naruto back, so we give him a shoter warranty. He's just too obnoxious and loud and we'relosing business because Narutos don't let any custoers look at any other Anime characters to cosider buying! So please, DON'T SEND HIM BACK TO US!! We will pay you 500 if you just DON'T send Naruto Uzumaki back to us!

**If You Enjoyed Naruto Uzumaki, You May Also Enjoy:**

Sasuke Uchiha

Sakura Haruno

Hinata Hyuuga

Shino Aburame

Kiba Inuzuka

Ino Yamanaka

Shikamaru Nara

Chouji Akimichi

Rock Lee

Tenten

Neji Hyuuga

Sabaku no Gaara

Kakashi Hatake

Jiraiya

Konohamaru

Iruka Umino

**Naruto is NOT compatible with:**

Orochimaru

Kabuto

Any Members of Akatsuki

**Warranty**

Naruto Uzumaki comes with a two hour warranty in case you find you are not happy with him. Naruto can only be returned if one of the following occurs:

The Kyuubi inside of him dies somehow

He attempts to rape and/or molest a Sakura Haruno

When coming back after two years with Jiraiya, he is overly perverted and is basically a clone of Jiraiya

He is overly loud and obnoxious

He uses 'Sexy no Jutsu' and tries to get you to make a porn movie with him while he is in that form

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Well, did you like it? I'm planning on doing Sakura or Sasuke next (that is, if you guys think this is a good idea and I should stick with it). This is just a fun little side thing for me to do whie I have writer's block for my other stories, so I promise I'll have some chapters of something else up soon (especially since school is out in 2 days!!)

Pooh Bear Is My Hero


	2. Sasuke Uchiha

Thanks to those of you who reviewed! You made me want to update that much faster :) Anyway, I do not own Naruto or any of these Naruto characters

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**Sasuke Uchiha Care Manual**

Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of your very own SASUKE UCHIHA!!

**What Have I Purchased?**

You have just purchased a Sasuke Uchiha!! Sasuke Uchiha is intelligent, logical, and, for the most part, a loner. He also has an extreme hatred for his brother, Itachi Uchiha. Your Sasuke comes with:

1 Blue Shirt

1 Pair of White Shorts

10 Kunais

1 Blue Leaf Village Headband (If you choose the traitor!Sasuke model, the headband will have a scratch over the symbol)

A Lifetime of Emotional Baggage

1 Sasuke Uchiha

**WARNING**

Every Sasuke Uchiha comes with a liftime of emotional baggage. If you cannot deal with angst and major emotional issues on a daily basis, then Sasuke Uchiha is not for you. Instead, we recommend the Maito Gai.

NEVER tell Sasuke that Naruto is stronger than him. He will thoroughly kick your ass (we are not liable for any damage he causes)

NEVER mention Itachi Uchiha. EVER.

DO NOT obsess over him like a creepy fangirl. He will hate you and run away immediately.

**Assembly Instructions**

Open the box and let Sasuke come out on his own. It may take him a while, and when he finally does come out, he will either try to attack you with a plan he formulated while in the box, or he will completely ignore you. It depends on his mood. Just be nice and let him approach you first.

**Feeding Instructions**

Sasuke Uchiha can eat pretty much any food you would like to give him. However, it has been rumored that he likes tomatoes a great deal...

**Sleeping Habits**

Sasuke Uchiha tries to get a proper amount of sleep each night (at least 8 hours). However, sometimes, he has nightmares of the night Itachi killed his clan, which will keep him awake. On those nights, depending on how much he trusts you, you should either leave him alone or try to comfort him without being overbearing.

**FAQs**

**Q:** My Sasuke goes missing for several days at a time. Why is this?

**A:** Sasuke goes on missions for the Hidden Leaf Village from time to time. He'll come back, don't worry.

**Q:** Orochimarus have been hanging around my house since I purchased my Sasuke. Should I be worried?

**A:** Yes. If you let someone's Orochimaru too close to Sasuke, Orohimaru will give Sasuke the cursed seal. This seal will cause an unbearable amount of pain to Sasuke that only a Kakashi can help to lessen. However, no matter how much a Kakashi can help the pain go away, the curse will make your Sasuke seek out Orochimaru for power, and once he goes to Orochimaru, there is no telling when he will come back.

**Q:** Sakuras and Inos keep following my Sasuke, even though he always tells them to leave him alone. Is there anything I can do to make them stop?

**A: **I'm sorry, but no matter what you do, people's Sakuras and Inos will continue to follow your Sasuke around. The two girls have crushes on Sasuke. However, it is rumored that sometimes a Shikamaru can get an Ino to leave a Sasuke alone...

**Q:** My Sasuke saw an Itachi and ran after him. I haven't seen him since. What should I do?

**A:** For the time being, all you can do is wait. Right now, Sasuke is trying to hunt down Itachi so he can kill him. In a couple of days, he should lose Itachi's trail and come back to you.

**Q:** My Sasuke's eyes are red!!

**A:** Don't worry, he's just using his Sharingan, the Uchiha's bloodline. It's perfectly normal. If his eyes turn purple, then you should give us a call.

**If You Enjoyed Sasuke Uchiha, You May Also Enjoy:**

Naruto Uzumaki

Sakura Haruno

Kakashi Hatake

Orochimaru (traitor!Sasuke only)

**Sasuke Uchiha is NOT compatible with:**

Sabaku no Gaara

Itachi Uchiha

**Warranty**

Sasuke Uchiha comes with a two year warranty in case you find you are not happy with him. Sasuke can only be returned if one of the following occurs:

He is raped and/or molested by a Sakura Haruno, Ino Yamanaka, or Orochimaru

He becames power obsessed to the point where it is unhealthy

He becomes best friends with an Itachi Uchiha (if this is the case, you have recieved a defect Sasuke and should ask for a new one immediately)

Sasuke's angsty ways annoy the hell out of you and you find yourself plotting ways to kill him

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ANOTHER CHAPTER!! Sakura is next :D

Pooh Bear Is My Hero


	3. Sakura Haruno

Thanks to Karianella for the idea to add a Warranty!! I'll probably go back and add one to Sasuke and Naruto, so be sure to look out for it )

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO!!

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**Sakura Haruno Care Manual**

Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of your very own SAKURA HARUNO!!

**What Have I Purchased?**

You have just purchased a Sakura Haruno!! Sakur Haruno is intelligent, analytical, and has an abnormally large forehead. She has a HUGE crush on Sasuke Uchiha. Your Sakura comes with:

1 Red Dress

1 Pair of Green Shorts

10 Kunais

1 Blue Leaf Village Headband

1 Bag of Medical Equipment

1 Sakura Haruno

1 Inner Sakura

**WARNING**

Sakura Haruno is VERY tempermental and can cause you extreme bodily damage if you anger her enough (especially if she has been training with Lady Tsunade). (We are not liable for any damage she may cause).

NEVER tell Sakura that Ino Yamanaka is better, stronger, or smarter than her.

If you have a Sasuke Uchiha already, it is recommended you do NOT get a Sakura. She will piss him off by obsessing over him and she will completely ignore you. It takes anywhere from 3 weeks to 6 months for her to act normal around a Sasuke.

Sakura Haruno comes with an Inner Sakura who tends to be very blunt and rude. Do not take what Inner Sakura says personally because if you do, your life will become a living hell.

Sakura is very sensitive about her forehead, so try not to point out its giganticness.

**Assembly Instructions**

Open the box and Saura Haruno will come out on her own. Inner Sakura will be complaining about being stuck in the box. Introduce yourself and just talk with her for a while to become her friend.

**Feeding Instructions**

Sakura Haruno should maintain a balanced, healthy diet. However, try to kep her away from any kinds of peppers.

**Sleeping Habits**

Sakura Haruno gets around 8-10 hours of sleep per night. Be warned: she often talks in her sleep, so be prepared to fall asleep to her mumbling 'Sasuke-kun...' because you can be assured that he will ALWAYS be the subject of her dreams...

**FAQs**

**Q:** My Sakura goes missing for several days at a time. Why is this?

**A:** Sakura goes on missions for the Hidden Leaf Village from time to time. Don't worry, she'll come back soon enough.

**Q: **Whenever my Sakura sees a Sasuke, she chases after him yelling 'Sasuke-kun...'

**A:** Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do about this. Sakura has a major crush on Sasuke, and will take any chance she gets to be with him.

**Q:** My Sakura has been hanging out with a Lady Tsunade lately, and ever since she's been asking if she can operate on my appendix. Should I be worried?

**A: **Not at all. Your Sakura has simply put her excellent chakra control to good use by taking an interest in medical training. However, she is still training under Tsunade, and therefore not nearly good enough to be called a skilled medic yet, so I suggest you keep her away from your appendix and all of your other internal organs for the time being...

**Q:** My Sakura is being overly useless...more so than usual...is there anything I can do?

**A:** Find a Lady Tsunade for her to apprentice under.

**Q:** My Sakura gets angry and competitive whenever she sees an Ino...Why is this?

**A:** Ino and Sakura are rivals (and best friends, though they won't admit it), so this competitiveness is completely normal.

**Q: **Rock Lee's have been standing outside of my house ever since I got my Sakura...Why?

**A: **They are waiting to catch a glimpse of Sakura and ask her out on a date. Don't worry, once she says 'no' enough times, they will leave her alone.

**If You Enjoyed Sakura Haruno, You May Also Enjoy:**

Naruto Uzumaki

Sasuke Uchiha

Kakashi Hatake

Ino Yamanaka

Rock Lee

Lady Tsunade

Shizune

**Sakura Haruno is NOT compatible with:**

Orochimaru

Kabuto

All Akatsuki Members

**Warranty**

Sakura Haruno comes with a two year warranty in case you find you are not happy with her. Sakura can only be returned if one of the following occurs:

She breaks at least 17 bones in one battle

She attempts to rape and/or molest a Sasuke Uchiha

She unnecessarily screams 'Sasuke-kun' every 3 seconds

She becomes unbearingly annoying

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Third chapter! Please let me know what you think and who I should do next! I'm considering doing either Neji, Lee, Shikamaru, or Kiba next...

Pooh Bear Is My Hero


	4. Rock Lee

SUMMER!! MORE TIME TO WRITE!! YAY!! Thanks to those of you who reviewed last chapter!!

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN NARUTO!!

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**Rock Lee Care Manual**

Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of your very own ROCK LEE!!

**What Have I Purchased?**

You have just purchased a ROCK LEE!! Rock Lee is youthful, exuberant, outgoing, and a total gentleman. Lee has a crush on Sakura Haruno. Lee also idolizes his teacher, Maito Gai. Your Lee comes with:

1 Green Spandex Suit

1 Set of Orange Leg Warmers

1 Set of Very, VERY Heavy Weights

10 Kunais

1 Red Leaf Village Headband

1 3,756 Page Book of Youthful Sayings, written by Maito Gai

1 Rock Lee

**WARNING**

Rock Lee is not for pessimistic people. Instead, we recommend a Neji Hyuuga.

Do NOT get Rock Lee drunk, no matter how amusing it is. There is no telling what a Rock Lee will do when he is drunk, but one thing that is known is that he is still an excellent fighter when drunk (we are not liable for any damage that Rock Lee may cause).

Do not bash Maito Gai in any way, shape, or form in front of a Rock Lee. You will be thoroughly screwed if you do.

Do not intentionally try to hurt any of Rock Lee's friends or you WILL die (see 'If you enjoyed Rock Lee, you may also enjoy:' to find out who Rock Lee's friends are).

Do not let Rock Lee open the 5th gate, or he will either die or possibly become handicapped for the rest of his life. On the same note, if Rock Lee does end up opening the 5th gate, stay the hell out of his way if you know what's good for you.

**Assembly Instructions**

Open the box and Rock Lee should run out, prepared for battle. Explain to him who you are and he will immediately become your friend. It is recommended that before you assemble your Rock Lee, you destroy any alcohol within a 3 mile radius.

**Feeding Instructions**

Rock Lee can eat pretty much any kind of food. However, his favorite food is called the 'Curry of Life', which he can recieve for free from any Curry of Life Woman. Also, make sure to keep Lee away from alcohol at all costs.

**Sleeping Habits**

Rock Lee gets the recommended 8-10 hours of sleep each night. However, Rock Lee may be found walking, running, and/or training in his sleep. If you find him doig this, it is best to just let him continue. Just keep an eye on him so you can drag him back to his bed to sleep when he eventually collapses from exhaustion.

**FAQs**

**Q:** My Lee goes missing for several days at a time. Why is this?

**A:** Lee goes on missions for the Hidden Leaf Village from time to time. Don't worry, he'll be back.

**Q: **Whenever my Lee sees a Maito Gai, they immediately start yelling each others names, which is followed by crying by both of them, which is followed by a sunset backdrop appearing out of nowhere, which is followed by them hugging, which is followed by waves crashing behind them. Is that a secret handsake thing to a fraternity they belong to or something, or are they just gay? It's realy starting to creep me out...

**A:** No, Lee ad Gai are not doing a handshake to some fraternity. Believe it or not, this is how they normally behave when they see each other. They have a very, very, VERY strong student-teacher bond, and this is something they will do whenever they see each other. Also, your Lee is not gay (he has a crush on Sakura after all). So don't worry, this behavior between Gai and Lee is completely normal. Don't worry, it creeps us out, too.

**Q:** Whenever my Lee sees a Neji Hyuuga, he immediately follows Neji around and asks to battle him. Then, whenever he loses, he starts training for hours straight. Should I do something?

**A: **No. Lees have been trying to defeat Neji Hyuugas for a few years now. This rivalry is a fundamental part of Neji and Lee's friendship. Just let them go, and make sure Lee stays fully hydrated during his hours of training after battling a Neji. If you support your Lee enough, he may just beat Neji one of these days! Just give it some time.

**Q:** My Lee won't leave my friend's Sakura alone. What can I do?

**A:** Give it a bit of time. Once Lee realizes Sakura isn't interested in him, he will give her more space.

**Q:** My Lee yells phrases about youth every so often for no apparent reason. Does he have terets?

**A:** No, your Lee does not have terets. He is just a little youth-obsessed.

**Q: **My Lee's skin turned completely red while he was training one day and he is giving off a tremendous amount of energy...is he secretly an alien?

**A: **Your Lee is not an alien. He has simply opened the 5th gate, and I suggest you keep a watchful eye on him so he doesn't hurt his body too badly, because the opening of the 5th gate puts a tremendous amount of strain on the body. However, if your Lee does this and a spaceship comes and takes him away, then he IS an alien and you have recieved a fake Rock Lee and should therefore demand a new one from us.

**If You Enjoyed Rock Lee, You May Also Enjoy:**

Neji Hyuuga

Tenten

Maito Gai

Naruto Uzumaki

Sakura Haruno

Lady Tsunade

Sabaku no Gaara (only after they have had a battle that almost killed Rock Lee)

**Rock Lee is NOT compatible with:**

Orochimaru

Kabuto

All Akatsuki Members

Kimmimaro Kaguya

**Warranty**

Rock Lee comes with a two year warranty in case you find you are not happy with him. Lee can only be returned if one of the following occurs:

His body is completely destroyed from a battle with a Sabaku no Gaara and there is no Tsunade around to heal him

He attempts to rape and/or molest a Sakura Haruno (if this occurs, you have a defect Lee, because Lee is a perfect gentleman who would never think of penetrating a woman without her permission)

He is raped and/or molested by a Maito Gai and therefore has psychological issues

He becomes drunk and kills 8 or more people

He becomes drunk and steals every red skittle in sight

His skin turns red and he starts giving off a tremendous amount of power before he is taken away in a spaceship because he is an alien

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Fourth chapter! Neji is going to be next, then Shikamaru. But first, I am going to add a Warranty to Naruto and Sasuke. Please let me know what you thought of this chapter!! Also, any suggestions, constructive criticisms, or requests for characters to do next are accepted and greatly appreciated!!

Pooh Bear Is My Hero


	5. Neji Hyuuga

Thanks to those of you who reviewed! I do not own Naruto or any of these Naruto characters

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**Neji Hyuuga Care Manual**

Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of your very own NEJI HYUUGA!!

**What Have I Purchased?**

You have just purchased a Neji Hyuuga!! Neji Hyuuga is a natural genius, stoic, and has an unhealthy obsession with destiny. Neji Hyuuga also hates the main brnch of the Hyuuga family. Your Neji comes with:

1 Tan Shirt

1 Pair of Brown Shorts

10 Kunais

1 Black Leaf Village Headband

A Lifetime Worth of Hatred for the Main Branch

1 Neji Hyuuga

**WARNING**

Every Neji Hyuuga hates the main branch of the Hyuugas. Therefore, if you like Hinata Hyuuga or any other main branch members, then Neji Hyuuga is not for you. Instead, we recommend Hinta Hyuuga or Hanabi Hyuuga.

Neji has the Byakugan ability. Therefore, if you are disgusted by veins popping out of a person's head, then Neji Hyuuga is not for you.

Never speak kindly of the main branch of the Hyuuga family around Neji.

Never tell Neji that Rock Lee is better than him.

Neji Hyuuga is obsessed with destiny, so if you are a believer of free will, Neji Hyuuga is not for you. Instead, we recommend Rock Lee or Naruto Uzumaki.

**Assembly Instructions**

(NOTE: It is best if you go to an open field to assemble your Neji Hyuuga. You will see whiy in a moment.) Open the box and let Neji sit in there, brooding, for a while. When he comes out tell him who you are and explain that you have purchased him. At once your Neji should start to attack anything in sight out of anger. If you did not take our advice and chose to assemble your Neji in a building, such as a restaurant, then be prepared to be sued for a large amount of money for all of the monetary damage your Neji Hyuuga will due during this stage of his assembly, which we call the 'denial stage'. After Neji calms down, he will go on a 20 minute rant about how it was his destiny for him to be bought, and it is at this time that you can start to enjoy your Neji Hyuuga.

**Feeding Instructions**

Neji can eat pretty much any food you would like to feed him. The only food we recommend you keep away from him would be the Curry of Life.

**Sleeping Habits**

Neji Hyuuga usually gets the recommended 8 hours of sleep a night, unless someone from the main branch of the Hyuuga Clan ahs angered him that day. If that is the case, that night he will stay up all night formulating plans to destrroy them. DISTURB HIM AT YOUR OWN RISK! If you try to disturb him while he is plotting, we are not liable for any limbs you may lose.

**FAQs**

**Q:** My Neji goes missing for several days at a time. Why is this?

**A:** Neji goes on missions for the Hidden Leaf Village from time to time. He'll come back, don't worry.

**Q:** Lees have been coming to my house and asking to challenge their 'rival'. Why?

**A:** Lee and Neji are on the same team, and have a very complex relationship. They are rivals, and deep, deep, DEEP down, they are best friends, too. Lee constantly trains in hopes of surpassing Neji, so expect to have Lees flooding your house to challenge your Neji until they finally surpass him.

**Q:** My Neji tried to kill my friend's Hinata! What can I do to prevent this from happening again?

**A: **Find a Naruto to battle your Neji Hyuuga to inspire him. Once your Neji is inspired by Naruto, he will be a bit kinder to Hinata and will refrain from killing her.

**Q:** My Neji has giant veins popping out of the sides of his eyes!

**A:** Don't worry, he's simply using his Byakugan, the Hyuuga bloodline. It's perfectly normal. If the veins pop and he starts spewing blood everywhere, we suggest you either get a Lady Tsunade or Sakura Haruno to heal him.

**Q:** My Neji won't shut up about fate and destinty. It's all he ever talks about! How can I make him stop?

**A:** Unfortunately, there is no way to make him stop. Neji is obsessed with fate and destiny, and he will constantly preach to anyone he can find about how fate cannot be changed and whatnot.

**If You Enjoyed Neji Hyuuga, You May Also Enjoy:**

Rock Lee

Tenten

Maito Gai

Naruto Uzumaki

Shikamaru Nara

Chouji Akimichi

Kiba Inuzuka

**Neji Hyuuga is NOT compatible with:**

Hinata Hyuuga

Hanabi Hyuuga

Kidoumaru

**Warranty**

Neji Hyuuga comes with a two year warranty in case you find you are not happy with him. Neji can only be returned if one of the following occurs:

He talks about fate so much that it is annoying the hell out of you and you are considering murdering your Neji with a spork

He starts to wear spandex (If this is the case, you have recieved a defect Neji and should ask for a new one immediately)

He shows affection for the main branch of the Hyuugas and aspires to be like them one day (once again, if this is the case, you have recieved a defect and should ask for a new Neji immidiately)

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ANOTHER CHAPTER!! WOOHOOOOOOO!! Shikamaru-kun is next )

Pooh Bear Is My Hero


	6. Shikamaru Nara

Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I really appreciate it )

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto!! If I did, Lee and Tenten would be married with 3 children and Neji would be the children's nanny!!

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**Shikamaru Nara Care Manual**

Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of your very own SHIKAMARU NARA!!

**What Have I Purchased?**

You have just purchased a Shikamaru Nara!! Shikamaru Nara is a laid-back, lazy genius who simply wishes to live an average life. Your Shikamaru comes with:

1 Fishnet Shirt

1 Short Sleeve Green Jacket

1 Pair of Brown Pants

10 Kunais

1 Blue Leaf Village Headband

1 Shouji Board

1 Shikamaru Nara

**WARNING**

Every Shikamaru Nara is extremely lazy, so be prepared to have him ignore you when you ask him to do something.

Every Shikamaru Nara has the Shadow Posession Jutsu ability, so if you have a major fear of being strangled by shadows, then Shikamaru Nara is not for you.

Shikamaru is a very pessimistic person, so if you cannot deal with extreme pessimism, Shikamaru is not for you. Instead, may we recommend a Naruto Uzumaki, Rock Lee, or Kiba Inuzuka?

**Assembly Instructions**

Open the box and take your Shikamaru Nara out. It is very important that you take him out yourself, for if you wait for him to come out, he will most likely fall asleep. Once he is out, he will begin to talk about how troublesome being bought was, but eventually you will be able to talk with him and start enjoying your Shikamaru Nara.

**Feeding Instructions**

Shikamaru can eat anything you would like to give him. We do not know of any allergies he has, so anything is fair game.

**Sleeping Habits**

Shikamaru sleep anywhere from 8 to 18 hours a day. Do not disturb him while he is sleeping, or he will be very upset with you. (Note: If your Shikamaru sleeps for MORE THAN 18 hours, we suggest you try waking him up for if this is the case, there is a very good chance your Shikamaru could be dead)

**FAQs**

**Q:** My Shikamaru goes missing for several days at a time. Why is this?

**A:** Shikamaru goes on missions for the Hidden Leaf Village from time to time. He'll come back, don't worry.

**Q:** The only thing my Shikamaru says to me is 'how troublesome' whenever I talk to him. Have I recieved a defect Shikamaru?

**A:** No, you have not recieved a defect Shikamaru. More than half of the things Shikamaru says will have to do with how something is troublesome or a drag.

**Q:** My Shikamaru said something to my friend's Ino that she didn't like and Ino threatened him! Should I keep them away from each other?

**A: **No. Ino and Shikamaru have a very complex relationship. They are very close friends, best friends, even, and they argue a lot. Chences are, Ino will forget what Shikamaru said to her that upset her after about 15 minutes. Don't worry, Ino would never act on any threats she makes to Shikamaru (unless of course, she threatens to cut his tongue out with a spork and shove it down his throat to choke him. If this is the case, the Ino is a defect and should be forbidden to see your Shikamaru). But if Ino is not a defect, then there is no danger to Shikamaru at all. In fact, there are even rumors that Ino and Shikamaru may like each other, but this has never been confirmed.

**Q:** Ever since I bought my Shikamaru, I find moments where I can't move any parts of my body. Does this have anything to do with my new investment in my Shikamaru?

**A:** Yes. Your Shikamaru has the Shadow Possession ability, which means he can use shadows to immobilize you and make you copy anything he does. Don't worry, he is probably doing it to train. You don't need to worry unless he makes you walk towards him while he is holding a knife. If this is the case, he is plotting to kill you, which means you have recieved a defect and should ask for a new Shikamaru immediately. However, since you would have no mobility if this was the case, this means he will most likely stab you hundreds of times and kill you, which means you cannot request a new Shikamaru. (We are not liable for any damage your Shikamaru may cause you, defect or not).

**Q:** Is it possible to beat Shikamaru at Shouji?

**A:** Yes, but it is very difficult. Your Shikamaru has an IQ of over 300, which makes him an excellent Shouji player.

**Q: **A lot of Temaris have been hanging around my house since I bought my Shikamaru. Why?

**A: **Temari and Shikamaru are very good friends, so it is completely normal if Temaris start coming to your house a lot. Shikamaru and Temari spend a lot of time together. There are even rumors that they may like each other, but this has never been confirmed.

**If You Enjoyed Shikamaru Nara, You May Also Enjoy:**

Chouji Akimichi

Ino Yamanaka

Asuma Sarutobi

Sabaku no Temari

Naruto Uzumaki

Neji Hyuuga

Kiba Inuzuka

Iruka Umino

Shikaku Nara

**Shikamaru Nara is NOT compatible with:**

Kin Tsuichi

Tayuya

**Warranty**

Shikamaru Nara comes with a two year warranty in case you find you are not happy with him. Shikamaru can only be returned if one of the following occurs:

His constant pessimism and 'how troublesome' and 'what a drag' comments are annoying the hell out of you and you are plotting to run him over with a car because of it

He becomes the peppiest, most energetic and outgoing person you've ever met (If this is the case, you have recieved a defect and should ask for a new Shikamaru immediately)

He watches clouds on your neighbors lawn and he refuses to move, so your neighbors are sueing you (this warranty is only good if your neighbors are sueing you for 100,000 dollars or more)

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Yay, another chapter up! Next is going to be Ino-chan, because she is my favorite character and I NEED to do her :)

Pooh Bear Is My Hero


	7. Ino Yamanaka

Thanks to everyone who reviewed! I'm really glad you like this story!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto!!

* * *

**Ino Yamanaka Care Manual**

Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of your very own INO YAMANAKA!!

**What Have I Purchased?**

You have just purchased an Ino Yamanaka!! Ino Yamanaka is a bossy, arrogant, independant girl who is obsessed with her looks. Your Ino Yamanaka also has a crush on Sasuke Uchiha. Your Ino comes with:

1 Purple Shirt

1 Purple Skirt

3 Rolls of Body Tape

10 Kunais

1 Blue Leaf Village Headband

1 Pack of Hair Ties

1 Ino Yamanaka

**WARNING**

Every Ino Yamanaka is loud and opinionated, so if you can not deal with loud people, Ino Yamanaka is not for you. Instead, we recommend the Shikamaru Nara.

Ino Yamanaka has a huge crush on Sasuke Uchiha, so it is recommended you do not purchase an Ino if you already own a Sasuke, and vice versa. This is because Ino will obsess over Sasuke, he will get angry, and Ino will completely ignore you.

DO NOT insult Sasuke around any Ino. She will immediately get pissed off and she will thoroughly kick your ass (We here at 'Anime Characters R Us' are not liable for any damage Ino Yamanaka may cause you)

NEVER tell Ino Yamanaka that Sakura Haruno is better, stronger, or smarter than her.

DO NOT insult Shikamaru Nara or Chouji Akimichi around Ino. She will get very upset, because they are her best friends, and she will most likely kill you.

Ino Yamanaka cares very much about her appearance. If you cannot afford to spend at least 600 dollars per week on beauty products she wants to buy, then Ino Yamanaka is not for you.

**Assembly Instructions**

Open the box and Ino Yamanaka will come out on her own, ready for battle. If she does not start screaming and complaining immediately, then you have recieved a defect and should ship her back to 'Anime Characters R Us' for a new Ino immediately. Explain to her calmly that you have purchased her, and give her about an hour to accept this fact. After that, she will be your best friend!

**Feeding Instructions**

Ino Yamanaka eats about two square meals per day. However, she cannot eat just ANY food. Ino Yamanaka is constantly on a diet, because she thinks she needs to lose weight to get Sasuke to like her. Make sure you constantly tell Ino that she is NOT fat, so that eventually she may not feel the need to be on the diet anymore and she can eat any food at all. However, until then, it is recommended you buy healthy foods, such as whole grain bread instead of white bread, etc. If you do NOT do this, Ino Yamanaka will simply refuse to eat, which is unhealthy for growing Ino Yamanakas. Make sure to keep an eye on you Ino so she does not get an eating disorder.

**Sleeping Habits**

Ino Yamanaka gets the recommended 8 hours of sleep per night, sometimes even more. Ino Yamanaka will usualyl sleep late, and it is recommended that you do not disturb her if this is the case. If you do, she may very well bite your head off for disturbing her 'beauty sleep'.

**FAQs**

**Q:** My Ino goes missing for several days at a time. Why is this?

**A:** Ino goes on missions for the Hidden Leaf Village from time to time. She'll come back, don't worry.

**Q:** My Ino came home the other day and her hair was at least a foot and a half shorter! Did she cut it so she could become part of some gang?

**A:** No, your Ino is not in a gang. She has simply fought a Sakura Haruno for the first time. She cut off her hair so she could use it to trap Sakura and use her Mind Transfer Jutsu. It will grow back quickly, don't worry.

**Q:** My friend owns a Sakura Haruno and when she brought her Sakura over one day, all Ino and Sakura did was argue and scream 'Ino-Pig' and 'Billboard Brow' at each other. Why?

**A: **Ino and Sakura are friends and rivals. Insulting each other is their way of showing affection for each other. It's completely normal.

**Q:** I was walking down the street the other day with my Ino and I went into a store, and when I came back out Ino was collapsed on the ground. A few feet away, a Neji was dancing like a ballerina and singing showtunes. Am I going crazy?

**A:** No. Your Ino has simply used her 'Mind Transfer Justu' technique. By using it, she can take over someone else's mind and body (in this case, Neji), but in return, her body is left without a soul and cannot move. As long as the body she takes over does not die, she will be able to return to her body whenever she likes. Ino probably got bored waiting for you while you were in the store, so she decided to have some fun by taking over a Neji and making him do stupid things.

**Q: **My Ino argues with my friend's Shikamaru a lot. Should I keep them apart?

**A:** No. This would upset your Ino. Ino and Shikamaru are best friends, and they tend to debate a lot. Ino just gets a bit too emotional sometimes and starts screaming, but don't worry: they will both probably forget the arguement after about an hour. Just make sure you don't restrict your Ino from seeing Shikamaru (or Chouji, for that matter), because since they are best friends she would hate you for forcing her to stop hanging out with them. In fact, it's even been rumored that Ino and Shikamaru may like each other, but this has not been confirmed.

**Q: **My Ino spends hours in the bathroom...

**A: **She's trying to make herself look as beautiful as she possibly can. Ino's care very much about their looks, and spend much of their time trying to make themselves look good. We only advise you to worry if you hear her vomitting or some such thing while she is in the bathroom, because this either means that she is sick or she could be pregnant.

**If You Enjoyed Ino Yamanaka, You May Also Enjoy:**

Shikamaru Nara

Chouji Akimichi

Asuma Sarutobi

Naruto Uzumaki

Sakura Haruno

Sasuke Uchiha

Inoichi Yamanaka

**Ino Yamanaka is NOT compatible with:**

Kin Tsuichi

Dosu Kinuta

**Warranty**

Ino Yamanaka comes with a two year warranty in case you find you are not happy with him. Ino can only be returned if one of the following occurs:

She is overly loud and you cannot take it anymore, so you are planning to drown her in a duck pond

She rapes and/or molests a Sasuke Uchiha

She has an eating disorder and you cannot find help for her

She hates how you look so she constantly tries to give you a makeover, eventually resorting to doing it in the middle of the night.

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Ino-chan is all done, so I have no idea who will be next...I want to do the Konoha 12 first before I start anyone else, so it will either be Tenten, Chouji, Kiba, Hinata, or Shino. Please let me know which one you would like to see next!

Pooh Bear Is My Hero


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